Toothpaste

My hands shake

I don’t recognize my face

Squeeze the toothpaste

and my heart suffocates.

The dark of the night
is cold and it’s tight.
Too choked to think
so spit my thoughts in the sink.

It’s 1am
have I lost my best friend?
it’s all hitting hitting me now…
now its 2:03
and I can barely see
through my tears they’re falling falling down.

Someone tells me you’ve moved on
I smile like I appreciate the news,
as time stalls like a sad song.
I may say I’m happy for you
but my lie could only be
the closest thing to happy
I’ve found, to tell you the truth.
(Yeah my lie is only
the closest thing to truth
I’ve found, sadly.)

It’s 3am
and I lost my best friend
its all hitting hitting me now
now its 4:03
and I can barely see
through my tears they’re falling falling down.

Why did I?
How could I?
What will I do….without you?

Now it’s 5am
I never did get to sleep in my bed
I can’t find the courage to dream lonely lonely now
Now its 6pm
and I don’t know where my days been
Guess I spent it hiding hiding in my head
with you…with memories of what should’ve been.